Listen to me , God !

2003-11-12T09:51:00.000+08:00

test post from blogger control.

2003-10-29T23:39:00.000+08:00

You know what ?

I'm always catching myself red handed for being stupid and more. And in this case , hypocrital ( is there such a word ? Anyway the meaning's there.).

* conversation flashback *

fiona : yah but she drives me up the wall like totally

terry : why don't ya just tell her straight to her face ?

fiona : i would love to but she's my friend , damn it !

terry : *pregnant pause*

fiona : this really sucks ! i mean , she's like so selfish but we hafta put up with it

** end of flashback **

Thats when i stunned myself. Boy oh boy. I admit it. I AM selfish. ( ok so the above conversation has nothing to with my selfishness buts its there just to make my point )I am selfish in the way that i get so easily jealous , even if they're my good friends. LIke if my gal-friend snagged this really handsome guy , i'd be like "ooh.. thats great!" but inside i'd be kinda fuming. And this kinda behaviour's so totally wrong that i disgust myself ! And thats just one of many faults that builds me up.

2003-10-29T23:07:00.000+08:00

I Live with him, I see his face;
I go no more away
For visitor, or sundown;
Death’s single privacy,

The only one forestalling mine,
And that by right that he
Presents a claim invisible,
No wedlock granted me.

I live with him, I hear his voice,
I stand alive to-day
To witness to the certainty
Of immortality

Taught me by Time,—the lower way,
Conviction every day,—
That life like this is endless,
Be judgment what it may.

- Emily dickinson , 1924

________________

Emily dickinson. A name unfamiliar to you but she writes the best poetry around.

2003-10-29T20:53:00.000+08:00

Another birthday gone. Received a substantial amount of presents but somehow , somewhere deep in the realms where the part of my brain controls my thoughts , i feel unsatisfied. I'm lacking something , but what ?

2003-10-28T23:48:00.000+08:00

to hell with whatever they say abt "family togetherness". I hate my dad ( most of the time ) and the only times when he is being nice to me is when his girlfriend is around. Its true. If you want me to cite the reasons why i say so , the list'll go on to encircle the globe several times. On weekends ( when his girlfriend is around ) , he'll be cracking alot of jokes to his gf , actions i've never seen before when she's not around. He is so biased !!!! Take what happened just now. I took 40 min in the shower and he was hurling vulgarities when i came out . And he never says a word when She takes like 1 hr in the bathroom !! I rest my case.

I have doubts about Auntie Joyce's ( thats how i address her ) family. I don't think they have any clue of my presence cuz there were times when i needed to contact her regarding stuff like where she placed my nail polish etc and i wanted to call her home but my dad refused and insisted on him making the call for me. Well. Thats quite evident isnt it ? And that why i suspect that i am the reason that they're not married yet. Anyway when they finally do tie the knot , i'll be faced with another dilemma. How the hell am i supposed to attend their wedding dinner ? What the heck ? Attending your parent's wedding dinner ? SOunds so absurd ! And what am i supposed to call her after that ? Mum ? Sorry i don't think so ! BUt then again i dun wanna offend anyone.. And what is even better is that my mum ( the real one ) is gettin hitched two. How nice. Two sets of parents. Blehhhhhhhh

Happy birthday to me !

2003-10-28T21:09:00.000+08:00

2003-10-28T20:41:00.000+08:00

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Welcome aboard Flight FTJC 1943 and this your Fiona Tan , your friendly pilot speaking. We wil be experiencing major air turbulence in a matter of seconds and you are advised to fasten your seatbelts or risk gettin thrown off the plane.

Muahaha. Was rudely woken up by D early in the morning and that moron was pestering me to go have brunch with him ... was reluctant but agreed anyway and met him downstairs where we proceeded to whitesands... after which we parted for he got to work today. Noon i went to AMK library with Pei and Nicholas to 'study' , all of which lasted for a mere 20 min or so before we prowled AMK central lookin for food.

Hur hur. Met up with my schoolmate aaron at the void deck of my ah ma's house . He dyed his hair an orangey-brown !! Gave me quite a shock. Anyway he gave me somethin which turned out to be my birthday present and i was kinda embarrased for dunno what reason. And guess what ? It turned out to be this really gigantic poster of JAY!!!!!! But it was marred by the appearance of my disgusting photo in the top left hand corner. LOL.

I was really disappointed just now when i was emptying my bag of its contents for i had forgotten to take Terry's present , a box of Godiva assorted chocolates out !!!!! It had been hidden in my bag with the other presents since friday and its not surprising that it had melted into a chocolatey mass and i was so pissed with myself for being so forgetful !!!! Not because i didnt get to eat the chocolates i loved so well , but .... i don't know. Its like i'm doing somethin wrong. But the flowers he gave me are dryin out better than i expected , and its really nice tho' my dad is suspicious and he keeps askin about person who gave me roses . Well. I'm placing the melted chocolate in the fridge anyway .

HA~ Last week to go before my O levels and i'm still slackin hard. Gee. BUCK UP FIONA TAN~~~~~~~

Folks , remember to drop me an email when u're free !
Banana_hamster@hotmail.com

2003-10-25T23:43:00.000+08:00

Typical match scene : djemba djemba to scholes.... passes to giggs....Nistelrooy crosses in.. Nistelrooy....Still nistelrooy.... and its a GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Phweeeeeet* Oh no ! Its an offside ! (fictional )

Not that i'm complaining of course. Anti-climax maybe , but since i'm describing an offside for Man U i'm more than willing to do so. And the score now stands at Manu 1-3 to fulham !!! Miracle !!!!!!!!

Woo. Stayed at home all day today with intentions to study . Nursed a bad tummy cramp throughout the day and i watched this B-grade movie flick titled Rough Air on channel 5 in the evening.I can't believe that i'm watching TV cuz i seldom watch TV . Anyway i'm so glad to have caught this cuz i got bowled over by this guy named Eric roberts and he's the lead actor in this movie. OMG he has such dreamy eyes and although he's already 56 he looks 20 years younger. He charmed me off my feet man ! Trivia : he's julia roberts bro ! But estranged.

2003-10-25T15:55:00.000+08:00

Urghh. I puked yesterday in full view of everyone after those morons forced two cans of stout on me. It wasnt the alcohol that did it , it was the sheer disgusting rancid taste of that vile liquid tgat made me do a merlion. Damn! Overall we had fun but nothing really memorable. I like the bailey's irish cream that terry concocted for us... chocolatey stuff laced with whisky...... mmh... went down quite smoothly but i got a lil groggy after a while... ehh too much of a good thing is a bad thing !

2003-10-24T18:31:00.000+08:00

Hello folks.

Guess what ? The time now is 6pm and I am now at Danny’s house using his state-of-the-art computer system that’s fitted with an impressive flat screen plasma monitor that gives me the headache cuz’ of the strong glare , and the infra-red keyboard and mouse , all of which are really ingenious gizmos and the best thing is that everything is in ivory black ! Woo hoo…. And worse still he has 2 more exact computer sets in his sister’s and brother’s bedroom. Talk about being green with jealousy !! Anyway I’m here to attend a BBQ cum birthday(s) party . Whose birthday ? Ah , it is none other than yours truly and Danny’s girlfriend , rosie , also a good friend of mine. Her birthday falls on Sunday and hence the double celebration. I’m a bit guilty for being in the comforts of danny’s room while the others are toiling over the setting up of the BBQ pit .But ah , being the birthday girl has privileges , ya ?

Omg. I love danny’s house so much that I’m goin to dedicate tis paragraph wholly for it. It’s a quaint semi-D house right smack in the middle of a rustic pasir ris neighbourhood. The façade is simple and zen-like , with a small bare but picturesque garden that is carpeted with well trimmed lawn grass , and a small pond with a few water lilies with a weeping willow towering over it. Inside of his house is a haven for zen-fans out there. A bare and simplistic look with monotone features . And its fully air-conditioned!!

Ju looks totally hot in her pink floral sundress from Zara and Jiesheng just couldn’t take his eyes off her. Hee. That buaya. Anyway from where I am sitting now the window’s right beside me and I have a totally good view of the garden from here. HH’s just arrived and Terry’s lurking around suspisciously around the buffet spread. Speaking of HH , that ass gave me a see through g-string with lace trimmings and it looked like it came out from a porn catalogue for my birthday last year. I am NOT looking forward to this year’s present from him. I’m not looking forward to later too cuz I spy bottles of vodka and other stuff like bailey’s on the beverage table and I have a dark feeling about it.

I’m kinda sad cuz my friends from school apparently forgot about my birthday and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that at least one would wish me happy birthday when Tuesday comes. Well , guess its time for me to hit the food for I see smoke coming out from the bbq pit and that’s a good sign. Till later .

2003-10-23T17:46:00.000+08:00

Hoo. Just came back from studying at East Coast with Ju. of course , the beach isnt exactly the most suitable place for a study session but Ju insisted on it and i couldnt bear to reject her good intentions. What kinda good intentions ? Well you see , firstly , we made good use of our situation and we chose the table-n-bench in the sunniest spot instead of the shadiest. Why the hell would we do that , you might ask. The thing is , i havent got a tan in like monthhhssssss and Ju's tan was fading. The sky became a lil overcast later so the purpose was beat though Ju became a lil bit darker .... Not sure for me tho' cuz i was sure she was only consoling me when she said with all enthusiasm that "Yea fio duncha worry you look fine dear'. Yeah right.

Secondly , and most imporantly to Ju , was to ogle at guys while she taught me physics . Ju had this thing for beach boys and she sure was disappointed today for she forg0t that today's a Thursday and the beach was vacated. Anyway she managed to drool over the topless and hunky bicycle and skates rental guys and decided that one of them actually looked like DJ Utt. I have no opinions whatsoever. Hee. We actually survived 3 hours of studying and we had the unfortunate luck of being at the receiving end of a bird's dropping. A bit of greenish goo laced with milky white stuff landed on my shoulder and the other load landed on Ju's shorts ( which had her hollering out "Its my new roxy shorts you damn fuckin bird!). Talk about hitting the bull's eye.The shit left a greenish stain on my uniform which i doubt it can be washed off.

2003-10-21T22:26:00.000+08:00

today i was unfortunate enough to go home by myself today as everyone else had maths test . I was even more unfortunate enough to be taking the same bus with three unknown juniors who sat behind me. I was having this massive headache and it didnt help that they were talking so damn loudly like they owned the bus in their squeaky voices. T

The next thing i knew , the girls were commenting loudly about this apparently homeless ( he had bags of plastic carriers with him stuffed with stuff ) , dressed in rags and barefooted elderly man sleeping on a seat in the bus stop. The bus had stopped at this stop and the girls spotted this underprivileged and pitiable man but instead of voicing out their sympathies they said stuff like "EEww.... Look at his feet!! So dirty ! I bet they stink" To which another would reply "Ya yah !! He looks like he stepped on shit" And this was responded by a chorus of girlish giggles. I was like... What the Fuck ?! Where were their consciences ? I turned back , with all intentions to rebuke them , but instead , all i could manage was a measly "Shut up!" before giving them three the once over and turned back. I was really infuriated at that time , damn , everyone's getting educated , but what good will an education do if they don't even have the most basic moral values instilled in them ? All those shit about promoting Civics and Moral education as claimed by the Govt are bull !

2003-10-20T21:14:00.000+08:00

Was damn sleepy throughout the day. Not surprising when you didnt sleep the night before. Thus no entry today , i'm gonna hv a very early nite.

2003-10-20T03:36:00.000+08:00

Target Coupons

2003-10-20T00:28:00.000+08:00

One last poem !!!! Hee

Untitled

I want to stop living in the word of impossibilities
Where reality steers far away from me
I want to regain my sanity
But yet denial prevents my setting free…
Tears are but evidence of my emotional instability
The hand that is outstretched seems so near
But ironically so far apart
Images of you feels so surreal
Because I yearn for the real you
How could just memories suffice
How could they ever replace
Those gentle eyes
Unfufilled fantasies still riddle my mind
Like us sitting back to back together
Admiring the maroon skies
Unrevealed were those heartfelt words
That still linger behind
Regret and remorse hurts me when I try
To walk out of our former lifes
Cemented in my heart are those footsteps
You left the last time…

2003-10-20T00:25:00.000+08:00

Another poem. Almost wholly inspired by the Colin Reye song - Love,Me

The final parting

The cinders burns quietly on the hearth,
Burning quietly while woe betides those dark moments of solitude
A prayer from his heavy heart is heard while she gains depth on earth
Buried six feet under ; an eternal interlude.

He fights the tears as he remembers
The words from his late wife's letter.

Weep not , for am I not right there captured in those sephia photographs
Our solemnisation , our marriage , and those taken just for laughs
Take a look around our humble abode , a treasury of our lifes
I’m always here , no matter what , its up to you to decide
I’d hate to admit but now
Even as I write this letter
Tears stream as I take a bow
And to God I leave my matters
I’m sorry that I’ll be taking my demise
One step before you
Decades we’ve spent , through all the times
But now I’ll have to bid you adieu
Silence now as my soul departs
For darling , I’ll always love you.

2003-10-20T00:24:00.000+08:00

A poem by Me .... Written a long time ago.

Untitled

If only there was some way to verify…
All matters misunderstood
If only there was some way to communicate..
When silence cuts through
If only there was a bridge long enough..
To link the spaces between our hearts
If only I could turn back time
Then perhaps we wouldn’t be torn apart
But life is full of contradictories
Where there are always two sides to a case
Sadly and ironically
Time crawls to a snail’s pace
When all we want to do
Is to let reality whizz through..

2003-10-20T00:13:00.000+08:00

this sux. A whole weekend wasted without mugging. All those study-or-die vows apparently has no effect on me. I must i must i must study....................

They say women are always the hardest to understand. In my opinion , its always the guys who are saying this. We're not complicated creatures , more often than not , its the guy who doesnt make an effort to understand and usually disses off her temper as PMS . What a convenient excuse for not trying harder.

2003-10-17T20:18:00.000+08:00

OK peeps i've received a couple of emails from readers ( thank u thank u soooo much ! ) requesting for my bio and here goes ( ooh i love writing bios sooo much !!!! Back in those Pri 6 days a considerable amount of time were spent on filling up autograph books of my classmates with my bio.. it was the in thing then ! )

Full name : Fiona Chen Xinyi ( My chinese name )
DOB : 29/10/1986
From : Singapore ( SOmewhere in SE-Asia )
Educational status : Currently taking my 'O' levels and planning to enrol for a diploma course in an art school next year
Height : 163 cm
Weight : 42 Kg
Hair colour : Dark brown
Eye colour : Dark brown
Skin colour : Erm.... Slightly tanned but more towards fair

Gee i don't know what is the use of putting all these colour thingies but i've seen everyone put it up in their blogs so i'll go with them...

Loves :
- All living creatures ( I have a particular soft spot for Hamsters , especially Syrian hamsters , and dogs )
- Eating â€¦ I love french , italian , asian food and of course my grandmaâ€™s homecooked meals ( My tastebuds dislike the taste of Thai food however )
- Writing stuff
- Shopping â€¦. Likes shops like Toss! And The Island Shop
- Being tested on General knowledge ( Come on ! Who wants to be a millionaire ?)
- Jay chou ( The greatest asian artiste alive )
- Reading
- Art history on Impressionism
- Beaches
- Flowers like roses and pink tulips
- Plants like Bonsai
- Exploring
- My family
- Hip-hop ( used to break but have since stopped )
- To talk
- To make people laugh
- To cook ( I make a decent spaghetti bolognaise ! )
- Astronomy
- Watching local dramas
- Stormy weather
- Perfumes
- Steak , well done

Hates :
- Animal cruelty
- Being cooped up at home
- Pimples
- Selfish people x 10
- Bright light
- Impolite guys
- Dirtiness ( I have a weird habit of being very clean and my house is spick n span )

Oh my there is so much more i would love to add but i can only remember so much.... LOL

2003-10-17T20:12:00.000+08:00

Woo hoo !! I love this quiz !! I mean yeah , i maybe radical in my thinking and behaviour-wise , whimsical but by all means i would really would love to walk down the aisle with my husband in a serene chapel wedding with me in a satiny white gown thats probably bare-back , nothing conservative in the sense ( but contradictorily conversative in another sense :P ) .. Nothing like those modern weddings where the the wedding is held in a beach and the bride gets flung into the sea as a finale..... nope , i'll have none of that please..... hee... And oh , which traditional bride would be complete without the lovely diamond solitaire ring ? Ooh~ Bliss....

2003-10-17T20:11:00.000+08:00

Congratulations! You are a traditional bride!

What Kind of Bride Will You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-10-16T23:51:00.000+08:00

*yAWN* Well i didnt want to update but DUTY CALLS ! So i'm just gonna summarise.Hmm. So yestderday my science practicals went quite smoothly so my worries were all uncalled for ! Den went job-hunting with Pei and co but ended up having a petty tiff with Pei and all of us ended having our meal at V8 movies cafe in Bugis. Nice steak. All of us were rushin home to catch Holland V and thus we put our plans for job-hunting on hold till friday. As for today i missed school today cuz' i woke up with a swollen left eye but it subsided in the noon , which was spent studying. Met up for a bit of coffee with Benjamin , Cheryl and darrius at coffee bean for a while before proceeding to my Grandma's. Lazy to elaborate what went on at Coffee bean but it was a pretty funny episode so i believe i'll talk more about it in my next post. Good night folks

2003-10-16T00:16:00.000+08:00

Again someone asked me the very irritating question of "Fiona ! When are you going get yourself attached ?" sometime in the day today. I have posted the answer to this before in my blog but decided to take it off cuz' i was afraid i would hurt some people with my scathing comments. Anyway. Once and for all i want to make use of my blog as a public annoucement board. My answer to that question too often posed to me is 'Leave me alone!!!!! Damned , i'm just 17 not 27 and there's no hurry!!" I know i have hurt quite a couple of people but i feel that its better to inflict hurt in the short term than to drag it and mutiply the hurt factor by a few hundred.This is going to be a short post as i'm very sleepy already and i'll try to update everything by tomorrow night. Till later folks.

2003-10-14T23:54:00.000+08:00

gee. I AM so nervous. Tomorrow's the day of my 'O' level science practicals and i'm kinda knotted up inside cuz i havent got the faintest idea of what to study hence i just study anything.... im dead for sure.... Terry ( also known as Big Brother LOL ) tried to say some encouraging words but it fell on deaf ears because he was basically regurgitating the overused phrases like "Yeah you can do it!" or "Have confidence!" ... But ah well he made the effort. Thanks big brother.

And now for the second problem. I don't have the necessry equip like calculator ( spoiled ) and flexible curve and i don't have any choice but to borrow from Aaron which isnt very nice cuz ive been like borrowing his stuff for the past few weeks and it pisses me off that i have to trouble him . Damn it. i am sooooo pissssssed ! Not just for this of course , but suddenly i feel like jumping into bed and snoozing , to try and be an escape artist and just run away from it all. From what ? From exams , from shitty incidents , from everything.

2003-10-14T14:26:00.000+08:00

Call me conservative, a traditionalist , old school , a conformist , whatever but as I watched a VCD loaned to me by the ever-adventurous Rosie titled “Unfaithful” last night , I was quite taken aback by the erotic theme of the show that evolved around the topic predominant in today’s society which is infidelity. The ever charming Richard Gere stars in this otherwise lacklustre show which got a few snores from me besides the few yelps of surprise and disgust during a few scenes of the show which either featured sex or toplessness ( Nono , not complete/upfront nudity. ). Before you label me as boring however , I am , in short , quite liberal as compared to my peers . But I can’t help feeling that all my liberalism was just a front , perhaps I was just being outspoken having been weaned on thrashy magazines like Cleo which has features like “How to give your man the time of his life in 10 steps” blasted on its cover page in EVERY issue. Anyway back to the show.

For your information , this show isnt R-rated , just Nc-16 so I feel that its alright watching it , though I was turning my head around every now and then to look out for my Dad lest he stirs awake from his sleep and decide to pop out from his room and getting the shock of his life ,thinkin that his daughter is a maniac. ( No , only a few scenes are quite…r-rated ) Anyway the ending is totally anti-climax for the husband eventually kills his wife’s lover and the amazing thing is he gets away from it scot-free and it just ends there . From my point of view , if I every caught my husband being unfaithful to me , I don’t think I could blame him for wanting to break free from a monotonous married life , for I myself would do the same . Yeah , this is where my liberism shows up. You may kill me for supporting unfaithfulness but I will not condone it without the approval of my husband , and vice versa. Woah , I cant believe that I’m discussing such a taboo subject.
I’m all for short term affairs , subject to approval from my husband of course. If not I wouldn’t even dream about doing it.

Hmm. Life has been whizzing past pretty fast the pasf few days , with my schedule being quite full . Saturday was spent in hopes of studying at home but ended up wasting my time online playing this game , Gunbound , with Melvin , Qiangmin and a few other friends. This game is addictive , I must say. Was preparing to waste the rest of my Saturday night at home lounging about doing nothing when to my pleasant surprise Terry called and he was done with his project with his classmates already thus I went out to dinner with him at the Esplanade again , where we once had dinner at Fabulous Fizz ( Modern european fare ) a few weeks ago , god the foie gras there was simplyyyyy marvelous and everything was so perfect ( except for the fact that we were the youngest diners there and was dressed so slackily compared to the rest ), and of course no dinner is complete without dessert and we wasn’t disappointed with our selection of champange jelly , a tad too alcoholic-tasting for my liking but otherwise perfect to a T ! The atmosphere was dreamy too , had our fill viewing the contemporary art pieces and being soothed by jazz music.

Anyway on Sat we decided to have dinner at My Humble House , a chinese-themed restaurent. We were lucky to get a seat there for the place was packed and we forgot to make advance reservations.For starters we had Peking duck with crepes that was served in a cute presentation in a shot glass/espresso cup and a pity that was about the best served cause’ I wasn’t wax lyrical about the ribs with a sauce name that I had forgotten but Terry’s choice of lobster with sichuan sauce was superb and our dessert wasn’t very oriental , strawberries with ice cream and chocolate fondue. Overall not a very memorable meal , would recommend Fabulous Fizz for meals at the Esplanade. Give me good ol’ hawker centre food anytime !

Ooh….Its time to study… hopefully I’ll complete my entry by tonight. Till later , folks!

2003-10-10T12:22:00.000+08:00

I rediscovered M.C Escher today. Gosh , and so glad am I in doin so ! The works of M.C Escher are really something to behold , his brilliant art pieces have got my mouth gaping wide open. I remember stumbling onto a book that has a few pictures of his works like “Waterfall” during my primary school days and getting fairly amazed by it but it kinda stops there as well , being an ignorant primary school kid you can’t really expect more , do you ? although I’ve never been good at maths ever since I was a young kid , I find myself getting awed by mathematical stuff , which is a very important element in M.C Escher’s works because it deals with stuff like tessallations , penrose triangle ( an impossible triangle ) , the drosche effect and so on. I guess he tops Van Gogh in sustaining interest , even though M.C Escher is not even halfway as well known as Van Gogh. You might wonder why Picasso doesn’t appeal to me even though its abstract , but no , abstract isnt the word to describe M.C Escher. Another impressionist artist worth mentioning is Monet. Between Van gogh and Monet , I guess Monet’s works are pretty much subtler than Van gogh’s , prollie because Van gogh has lived life pretty much the hard way.Monet also prefers still life unlike Van gogh whose works revolved much around people although his most famous work , Sunflowers is not. Haha , suddenly I feel like singing ‘Vincent’ , a song about him made famous by Clay aiken singing it during AMI 2 … ‘Starry starry night…. Paint your palette blue and grey….”

Top 5 artists loved by me

1- M.C Escher
2- Monet ( French impressionist )
3- Van Gogh ( Dutch impressionist/expressionist )
4- Bierstadt ( Naturalist / landsape )
5- Manet ( Impressionist )

Yeah as you can see I’m a big fan of impressionism… Renoir is by far the most famous impressionist of all times, but I would prefer Seurat , if only for his famous painting, ‘La Grande Jatte’ , which done in pointillism , as opposed to big brush strokes ala Impressionism. Very tedious it is , Pointillism.

2003-10-08T12:03:00.000+08:00

Listening to : Black eyed peas – Where is the love

Yeah its been a long while since I’ve blogged but ah , can’t blame me for the hiatus , been kinda busy recently. My prelims have been quite a flop , passing only 3 subjects out of 6. Not that I’m whining of course , don’t exactly have the rights to do so when I havent studied for it , thus serving me right for the poor results. The past few days have passed so fast that I could hardly take a breather , and now that I have skipped today’s class means that I can have some time for myself before I’m off to my grandma’s again at about 1pm , to study and to have my meals there.

“People got me got me questioning….where is the love….” Yeah…. The catchy refrains of the song I’m listening to sounds quite cheesy but the meanings are there. Where is the love ? That question has been on my mind for quite time now , with the recent spates of violence emerging practically everywhere , particularly the middle east. Closer to home , is the disagreement between singapore and malaysia over the reclaimation topic. I was reading about it in the newspapers just now , and it kind of got me really vexed and wanting to crush malaysia’s ministers with my bare hands. The malaysians ( their ministers I mean ) are always kicking up a big fuss over the tiniest things . Take the water agreements for example. Although we’re neighbours they’re always making me feel that they’re trying to take advantage of us , evident when they’re always trying to jack up water prices. So who cares about your bloody water? There’s always other countries wanting to earn their share of profits by selling us water.

Anyway fast-forward to now . This stupid reclaimation thingy is even more childish , now they’ve got their fingers pointing at us for encroaching on their whatever-u-call-that , dirtying their waters causing the immediate waters to be stilty and leading to the fishermen’s woes as there ain’t no fishies there no more. How dumb. Evidence has been presented to Malaysia that way before reclaimation started their waters has been stilty already. Seems like they’re ignoring the proof presented and hell bent on making us wrong just like the water agreements thingy . And whenever they’re in the losing end ( which is like always ) , they’ll draw out their concealed weapon which is usually some groundless comments like “Singapore is arrogant” and so on. In what way are we arrogant , may I know ? Just because we’re thriving and more successful doesn’t make us an arrogant country. For as far as I know , we’ve always been humble. Them silly ministers don’t know that making such stupid comments only sows the seeds of resentment in us singaporeans , and eventually we’ll just stop going to malaysia for our shopping and holiday needs and they’ll lose a substantial amount of their income. Ha. Perhaps by then they’ll regret it but it’ll be too darn late. I’ve never been an anti-malaysia advocate but I can’t help but feel that way when I read about it.

Ever since a long time ago when singapore merged with them , malaysia has always been like the ‘big bully’. They tried to coerce us into giving them a gift of $$$ so that they can develop sabah and somewhere else. Thank god we didn’t , but that amount was loaned to them anyway. And we had to contribute part of our annual $ to them , for what I don’t know. Of course after milking us dry our ministers finally saw the light and decided to separate ( the tears were just uncalled for , Mr LKY. Unless they’re tears of jubilation of course ) . Don’t get me wrong. I love malaysia , I love Tioman’s surreal sunsets , I love the shopping in KL , I love the untouched and raw splendor of the acres of primary forests in Pahang , I love their people for their warm welcomes ( But of course , the fatter our wallet is , the warmer their welcome ). But don’t you see , those are only on the surface. I can’t say that the ties between us , are as strong.

Till later , take care folks

2003-10-02T22:22:00.000+08:00

sigh.... i've always felt that i've always been someone worry-free and fortunate in that sense but for the past few days some issues have been bugging me and it doesnt seem like its going to be solved anytime soon.

anyway besides that i've also been quite pissed recently with J because his actions simply drive me up the wall...... ungentlemenly , disgusting , lame , childish , vulgar..... you name a flaw , and i bet he has it. Pity i consider him a friend or else i would have given him a taste of my fist loooooong ago. Not that i'm a violent person , but if you knew him you would have done the same. Trust me. I do not condone vulgarities , because everyone at some point of time will have used them , and as for me they are almost a part of my everyday life just that i mutter them silently in my heart. I disdain people who pepper their sentences with vulgarities and it really makes me feel disgusted as they give me a feeling that they are trying to show off. Not for me , i don't consider non-stop spouting of vulgarities impressive. Worse still , i simply hate guys who uses those words on girls. I mean , a few said in jest is alright but not stuff like "Hey fuck you , bitch". And now i make my vow. Should any guy speak to me like that i vow to slap him no matter how good a friend he is to me.

2003-09-22T02:24:00.000+08:00

Dear diary ,

I’m sorry I’ve neglected you for the past few days , for I have been busy. The time now is an unearthly 1.41am. Why are you still up so late , you might ask. Having slept in exodus usually spells INSOMNIA in block letters at night for me , and its staring at me in the face right now. It’s a good thing anyway , for I took the time to study my geography exams , coming up in 9 hours time. My room is lit only by the mere smudge of light from the night-light , and my winamp seems to detect the weary atmosphere in my room , for every song it has played in its random mode so far is heavily laced with poignancy and it’s got me going down deep into that never-ending abyss of my own conscience and I’m starting to entertain dark thoughts.

Just all of a sudden , something slapped me in the face and that got me thinking. Its like “Why the hell are you here in the first place ?” I remember this phrase very clearly “In life , you either exist or live.” By exist , it refers to being just a passenger on a train , merely catching a ride towards your destination, Life being a mere form of transport , and the destination being death. By simply living for the sake of existing , you bypass the countless stops and go directly to your final destination. When you live however , it’s the total opposite. You don’t remain stagnant , instead , you acquire the zest for living and that means standing up for everything that you believe in , getting down at every stop through your journey of life even if you can’t see whats in for you at that particular stop.

You learn through experiences , and people often regret what they have not done in the past , rather than what they have done. Its true. I myself , can attest fully to that saying. Numerous regrets sits heavy on everyone’s mind. I regret not being there when my grandfather needed me most. That memory is like permanent scar on me. It happened years ago , when I was in primary 6. I was supposed to be at home with my grandfather , to be taking care of him when the rest of the family was not at home. Instead , I went out with my cousin , leaving my ailment-riddled grandfather at home without so much as a thought. And he didn’t even complain. I received a call from my cousin’s phone a few hours later from my grandfather later complaining of difficulty in breathing and chest pains . We rushed home immediately and took my grandfather to the hospital where he was hospitalised. Nobody said anything about my misdeed , but I will never ever forget this incident. Many “What-ifs” questions replayed in my mind that day . What if my grandfather never got the strength to make that phone call ? What if my cousin and I did not get home on time ? What if ? What if ? I am thankful that he is still well and alive today , and now , I want to make sure I will never ask myself another “what if” question again. I’m going to cherish every moment with my grandparents , and now , before I regret , I’m going to tell them how much I love them even if its going to take much courage. And in our traditional chinese society , embarrasement.

I’m not trying to be morbid but death is unavoidable ; its just a matter of time before you go. Of course , at 17 , you might say that I have a long way to go . But how do you define “long” ? Chances are , I might die tomorrow morning by simply crossing a road and colliding head on with a vehicle driven by a drunk driver. Tomorrow is not that “long” right ? Death hangs like a sword above our heads , waiting to drop at the snap of a finger by God. I have gone through darker periods when I would think about how I would feel if I was completely immobile and paralysed at 80 , to be lying in bed everyday counting off days when I finally shut my eyes for good. Its really sick thinking I know , but really damn depressing . Anyway this reminds me of a documentary I’ve seen not long ago on discovery channel , about the aged and kin-less in hongkong choosing their own coffin or columbarium lot , or buying their “death clothes” ( clothes to be worn when you are rested in your coffin ). So…. Scary. Well. It has been a dark post , but don’t worry I’m in a ‘dark’ mood just once in a blue moon . I shall leave you with this quote ..

"modern science has gotten SO good at curing and preventing disease, thus keeping souls from keeping their Appointments with "Mr Death", that Spirit has to
INVENT MORE DISEASES so that these Appointments are kept!!"

2003-09-18T20:45:00.000+08:00

Although I’m not exactly handicapped in chinese , it isnt my forte either. So it isnt surprising that I handed in totally blank answer scripts today for the mother tongue examinations. Having given up my exam , I was left with the task of occupying myself for the next hour or so and I ended up staring at the darkening skies that was still clear not so long ago. I could tell a storm was brewing for the winds had a degree of chill in it and yeah I was right. I don’t know why but I have this thing for thunderstorms and today’s storm was particularly intriguing , though I cannot put my finger on where the intrigue lies. A storm could be so savage , so wild yet still so raw , so poignant and delicate. The storm was rising fast and the almost gale-like winds seemed to be trying too successfully to rip apart every tree , and in its mournful wails one could almost detect the triumph of emerging victorious. I turned to look at the windows where the dense foliage were swaying , thrashing about laboriously and the teeming mass of leaves were fighting a losing battle against the ferocious winds. For a moment I felt like I was studying in a school in the midst of the Amazon jungle , for the erratic movements of the canopy outside made structures in the background invisible and all one could see was green , green and more green. But most important of all , was the fact that the cool weather and the soothing music of nature provided the perfect backdrop to a cosy nap and I fell asleep soon after but not for long for Miss Tay roused me from my sleep . She tried to give me her “critical eye” stare but it was lost on me for I went back to sleep again. Hehe.

Was overjoyed when Qiaoping finally decided to grace lunchtime with her presence at 147. It has been such a seemingly long time since the 4 of us had lunch together. On our way there , we passed by a flat where there was a baby wheeling about in his stroller , and boy he was the cutest baby I have ever seen ! he was extremely cheerful and was gurgling happily when we made faces at him , and he wasn’t selfish with his toothless grins either. I felt compelled to grab him and keep him for my own but nah. It dawned onto me later that only in their infantile years are human beings able to escape from the grim realities of life , for nowadays even toddlers as young as 1 are being made to attend enrichment courses.

Kids nowadays are being made to grow up too fast , too soon. Its really sad , really , to know that childhood would be a passing phase of no significant importance other than that of being forced to acknowledge knowledge in the very near future , even now. I’m thankful that at least Ive grown up in a time where the simple joys of childhood were not domineered by the presence of technology , that I had spent time fruitfully , although not intellectually ( not a very diligent primary school kid. Not now even ) but mentally . When I say mentally , I am referring to spending the most precious and remembered period of my life as a laid back and carefree girl . Most kids nowadays wouldn’t be able to relate to things like hop-scotch , “Ice tube” for just ten cents , getting bruised by sand in the playground ( rubber mats instead of sand for flooring in playgrounds now ) and so on. Idyllic days where the void deck was almost like my second home , where the computer was a device unbeknownst to most. Mentally , I was a fulfilled young girl , one who has tasted the painful strokes of the “rotan” , one who defined pleasure as sucking on an Ice tube while swinging on the recycled tyre swing with the rusty chains that got my palms all brownish . I would love to give a more detailed description of my childhood but it’ll have to come at a later post. I don’t want to be so long-winded and boring ! :P

We ate “Ban-Mian” and soon rude slurpings of soup could be heard accompanied by occasional un-ladylike laughters as we started to engage in a lively banter. It seemed that our conversational topics were quite weird , for it ranged from the wacky to the morbid.Went back after that and that’s all~ heh…. Lazy to continue le… email me k~

2003-09-17T21:43:00.000+08:00

I skipped school today for I was feeling extremely lazy when I woke up and also today’s lessons were of unimportance with quite a few redundant subjects like moral education and assembly. Thus I slept all the way till 12pm and went back to slp at 12.30 after eating breakfast and waking up again at 2.30. Yeah I know this a disgraceful and disgusting habit , to be sleeping on a full stomach but I can’t help it , for I feel drowsy whenever I’m full. Studied for two hours before making my way to grandma’s for dinner. It’s gonna be a long night , and I’m very sure I won’t be sleeping tonight after sleepin more than 13 hours. Apologies for the extremely short post as today’s an uneventful day.

2003-09-16T20:15:00.000+08:00

Nothing significant happened today in class , just that I was quite disgusted with myself for being so sleepy in class even though I fell asleep at 11 yesterday. Today alone I had devised quite a number of ways to fall asleep , one of which was to sit upright and sway forth and sideways when u fall asleep , looking very much like an asshole. However this was by far the most effective sleeping pose of all even though it did not offer comfort , it looks ugly and you tend to wake up when you start swaying. But its effective because you look as if you’re awake and teachers will not disturb you by slapping your back , slamming a book on your table etc , as in when you lie yr head on the table ( which for me causes numbness in my hand and legs if in that position for more than 10 minutes ) However I don’t consider myself as the undisputed sleeping god yet. The throne currently belongs to Jonathan from next class. He has been reputed to sleep even when he is standing ! Impressive stuff. I have yet to master the art of standing and sleeping at the same time.

Today’s Yan birthday~! Happy birthday ~! My ulcer is still there , and its causing me great distress because it seems to make my lips very dry and I can hardly close my mouth because it’ll hurt if I do so. Well I’m going to make this a very short post today as I have got to study for my physics test later on. Good bye. Email me at banana_hamster@hotmail.com !

P/s : Thanks for the encouraging response from you readers out there~! Your emails are being appreciated~

2003-09-15T18:56:00.000+08:00

Slept for less than 2 hours before I had to get out of bed at an unearthly 5am to prepare for school. Upon reaching the school bus stop , Yong pei , Soryan and I starting chatting as usual , and this morning our conversations revolved around quite lame topics which I had already forgotten. Qiaoping was being very aloof , the same way that she has been for the past one or two weeks. We really cannot fathom where we ( Pei , Me and Yan ) had offended to make her behave so coolly towards us but then again whenever we ask her , she would just shrug it off and say “Nothing lah!” . But fortunately those bouts of silence from her were usually quite short-lived and during recess she would be the jolly Ping that we loved so well.

My eyes stung so terribly that I could hardly open them , a result from the lack of sleep. Luckily I managed to catch a few winks during Miss Tay’s maths lesson therefore my eyes were Ok when it was time to chow down at the canteen. Today’s recess was rowdier than usual , not surpising for Kenneth and Kai fong joined us at the table. Yan was chockful of negative comments about Kenneth’s D & T folio and to this I have to salute Kenneth for being so immune to her comments. Damned , my speech and eating habits have been marred by the dreaded appearance of an ulcer again. This time , its under my upper lip , and that’s a really horrible place to have an ulcer located there because the ulcer grinds against my teeth whenever I talk or eat and that really hurts. Any one of you guys have remedies for curing ulcers ? please , spare me the traditional method of rubbing salt onto it because I have an extremely low threshold of pain and the last time I tried the cure , I ended up doubled over the sink because my mouth was full of saliva and I had to let it drip out because my mouth was wide open during the entire process due to the pain and I’m tellin ya , not only did my ulcer was still there the next day , it sort of became inflamed and the pain just got worst. It was so painful that I doubt even triple doses of morphine would not alleviate it.

I was sleepy throughout the entire time I was in school and I had a great time snoozing during English lessons. Best of all , it was raining hard and the rhythm of the cascading raindrops just made my eyelids heavier and heavier. However my day was spoiled when J started his nonsense and today , he decided to make fun of me and Qiang min even though he did not directly mention names , it was so damn obvious that I was really pissed off . I can’t imagine if he had a girlfriend one day , would she be able to tolerate his nonsensical behaviour ? The things he does to piss people off would make a list enough to go across the globe several times. One of the things he does that never fail to disgust me is when he teases H. Firstly , H is very much attached and she’s a very fiery young lady who is a really good sport. Our dear J took advantage of it and he’s always like shaking his butt at her and calling her degradatory names like “Kinky girl , horny girl etc” and says suggestive stuff like “Oh H you have such a nice butt” and so on. Ok , so its also partly H’s fault for playing along with him but like I’ve mentioned before , she was just being a good sport. And he just gets worse. I’m not exactly angelic myself and yes , I consider J a friend but sometimes things get carried too far and he’s still damn proud of it. I don’t care if you’re reading this , J. It’s my exact sentiments about you baby. And I’ll be glad for you if you can change. And don’t tell me that a leapord never changes its spots because you’re not a leapord , and you don’t have spots.
Had lunch with Pei and Yan at 147 before we went to at hamsters at the neighbourhood shops. Went to grandma’s house after that and had a long nap before calling Pei to discuss about yan’s birthday presents. Quite in a dilemma as we’re not really keen to give Yan what she wants because she’s been quite @#$%^@ , asking us for presents and she still got the cheek to tell us that she wants it wrapped up nicely and placed in a nice paper bag. I mean , she’s my good friend and I don’t want to embarrasse her but I’ve really never seen another as thick-skin as her. Maybe she was just being honest but I guess she could have been more discreet. I would seriously buy her a much nicer gift if only she wasn’t acting that way , make no bones about it. So guys , if your birthday is approaching , please don’t hint so obviously ( in yan’s case she wasn’t even hinting. She was downright ordering us to buy presents for her ) that you want a present from me because if I wanted to give you , I will do so. Telling me that you want it when I don’t even have the intention of doing so will just make me apprehensive. Wow I feel like an ass after writing so much bad stuff about my friend’s but hey , its my blog and I’m a firm believer in freedom of speech. Hehe. Anyway I repeat , I’m full of flaws , character-wise , and I’m not afraid to admit it. However I will elaborate on it in my next blog. Till then , take care and god bless. Its dinner time~! Drop me an email at banana_hamster@hotmail.com

2003-09-14T23:47:00.000+08:00

I slipped out of my slumber at about 11 today , but my bed was deemed too comfortable by my sub-conscious self and I was back into sleep mode again for another hour. Woke up only to be told that I had only half an hour to wash up and be dressed because I have to go to my grandma’s place as my granddad was celebrating his 78th birthday today. Well I had the quickest shower for as long as I could remember and trust me it wasn’t a very pleasant experience. Reached grandma’s place by cab and I was ushered into the kitchen immediately by my grandma who presented to me a huge china bowl ( yeah , those kind with roosters emblazoned on it at the sides ) and she started ladling huge amounts of porridge into it. I was pleading for her to stop but she conveniently pretended not to hear and scraped the last scraps of porridge into my bowl. By now I have noticed that she wasn’t being over-enthusiastic but just trying to clear the last servings of porridge left in the pot so that she could wash it. Yeah. That’s how I ended up with a bowl brimming with porridge. I went into my cousin’s study to eat in air-conditioned comfort and with the latest copy of reader’s digest in hand I was definitely living it up! Unfortunately my disaster of a cousin , Kailing , decided that she was bored and came into the study. I’d have to admit that among my dozen cousins , I disliked her kinda the most. She’s 5 this year but she’s god-damn irritating and totally gets on my nerves. Firstly she started shaking my chair and I kept quiet for a while before I lost my cool and screamed at her. Most kids would start bawling and then leave the scene immediately but hell , she just stood there like an obstinate bull and continued shaking my chair before I carried her out of the room and locked her out. She’d make a really good actress , for after realising that I had locked her out she opened her floodgates and of course , the adults came after me and I had to unlock the door. I won’t elaborate anymore about our misadventures in the duration of about twent minutes , but all I can say is she pissed me off so much that I did something really nasty to her that made her cry incessantly , so much that she ended erupting like Mount Vesuvius did at Pompeii centuries ago , except that this time , it was her lunch that came out in the form of vomit. Ha , the evil cousin strikes back.

My “Small” aunt ( Xiao Gu ) bought an Awfully Chocolate cake for my grandpa and boy , if paradise did exist , this cake would have been the concentrated version of it. With its decadent ganache icing , moist chocolate sponge and the layers of heavenly melt-in-your-mouth chocolate mousse , it was no wonder why Awfully Chocolate ( a patisserie in Katong famous for its no-frills chocolatey concoctions) was so famed . Was sorely disappointed when my I could not stomach 3rd servings of it. Was disappointed again when my volunteering group’s co-ordinator called to tell me that today’s activity at Renci hospital was cancelled due to the resurfacing of SARS. Shit , I was looking so forward into meeting them folks again. Damn that SARS. As a result I had to go with my dad and his girlfriend ( I call her Auntie Joyce ) to White Sands where they went shopping for some household necessities .

Went to the library and was over the moon when I finally found the books I have been searching for so long but much to my chagrin , I realised that I owed the library a whopping $50 for an overdue book , a novel about Vincent van gogh. So I had to let go of the books and kept it in a secret location among a lonely looking shelf where malay literature were kept ( I know everyone does that . Don’t bluff ) , and kept my fingers crossed that no one would take them away. Anyway speaking of Vincent van gogh , he was a brilliant artist who paved the way for Impressionism but led a desolate life , unloved and misunderstood. He commited suicide and now , his works are very highly sought after by collectors , comparable in value to great artists like Leonardo da vinci and Monet. Ok that’s all for the the short discourse on van gogh. Anyway we shopped around that lame shopping center for a while before we went back home and by then it was already 6. Did some Geography for a while before going out again to East point by foot with my Dad and auntie Joyce.

Had Jack’s place for dinner and their service , to put it crudely , really sucked. The waiter cum floor manager who served us had a frown that maimed his face and we waited 10 minutes for a silly glass of water. Not that the food was exactly commendable though , auntie Joyce had spaghetti marina and the pasta came flooded in what looked like watered down tomato juice , and a few pieces of prawns and squid came swimming in it. Of course it tasted rancid and bland , and no amount of pepper could save it. My dad had fish but I did not have a taste of it but judging from the unfinished platter I could conclude already. As for me , I had “Jack’s special steak with our special Asparagus and black mushroom sauce” ( yeah on the menu it was really as cheesy as that. Tenderloin would sound much better ) . I’d say , Jack’s place is a steakhouse indeed but its not the best of course. The choice cut came in a hot plate and it came well done , the way I like it. It was tender and juicy , and it was grilled evenly all over , and the best part is they took the effort to remove the fatty bits. The baked potatoes came with generous toppings of sour cream , bacon bits ( crunchily yummy ) and chives, although I’m a big fan of naked potato with good ol’ butter. They could have done better with the “seasonal” vegetables though , it came with frozen peas and a few pathetic and ancient looking sliced broiled carrots. Urggh.. I remember having sirloin steak at Han’s a few weeks ago and their steak was gross , the copious sauce
Looked like
baby’s belch with unidentifiable bits in them but I thoroughly enjoyed the often-overlooked “seasonal” vegetables. It was simply fare , really. Just cabbage and carrots , but it was expertly done and it was still crunchy to the bite. Beats frozen peas any day . Please pardon my lengthy description of the food , as I’m very particular about the stuff that I put into my mouth.

Reached home in time to catch the “finale” of President’s star charity and found the stunt to be extremely lame. I’m praying that I can sleep early tonight cause’ I don’t wanna end up in class wishing I was back home in bed. Email me at banana_hamster@hotmail.com . By the way , please forgive me should you find a lot of typo errors cause’ I’m always typing this in a hurry

2003-09-13T22:42:00.000+08:00

Wow. I can't believe i'm doing this ! I'm new at this so i really don't have the foggiest idea of where to start but geez i've got to start somewhere right ? I hate this template , but its best among the worse so i don't think i've got much of a choice. I really would love to have those snazzy ones but considering my illteracy in IT , i guess i will have to dissolve that thought. Ok , so its Saturday today. I'm not sure if i had fun today cause' i was plagued with fatigue most of the day , damn it . Guess 6 hours of sleep just ain't enough if you're used to clocking 10-12 hours of slumber every day for the past week ( Just a week , mind you. Next week i will have to go out to face the world looking like a walking corpse because school starts next on Mon ) . But puzzling enough , i spring back into life again predictably so after 8pm , regardless of the number of hours i've rested. Its scares me actually , to actually feel the change as the day ticks day. From dragging myself literally from place to place and then jumping around with a huge zest for life.

Anyway , I woke up at 9am today instead of the usual 2 ( a short siesta ranging from 5-20 mins comes complimentary upon every time i wake up ) So yeah , i got out of bed at 9.30 , and very much reluctantly so. I actually forgot to brush my teeth before i had breakfast because i was so darn hungry but to make up for the mistake on my part i brushed for twice as long later. So i had a quick bath and dressed up in record time. I was late meeting Terry at Somerset station but turned out he was way later than me ! As a punishment for his unforgivable tardiness he gave me a treat of roadside ice cream which costed a paltry $1.50 and gave me a short bout of tummy pain .

Was in the dance studio with the rest of the gang at 11+ , and our two finalists were ( surprise ! ) really nervous although they were denying it like crazy. Ben and HH strutted their stuff in front of me , terry , rosie and Isial for a while before it was time to hit the stage. Well i'd have to admit their performances were quite lacklustre and thats why it didnt came as a shock that they lost . But i ( and the rest of the few hundred spectators ) them till voices went hoarse and went into a ballistic mood that was eventually killed when the results were annouced. HH and Ben were cool with it although the rest of us were pretty upset . Ben mantained that it was his unsuccessful hand stand that caused him the trophy ( it lasted a meagre nano-second before he collasped ) . ANyway they were good sport and we made our way down to Bugis where we ate lunch at V8 movies cafe. Realised that i've really neglected them for a long time when the topics they touched on were not in my conscious memory. Sorry , old guys ! Been hanging with my school mates too much.

Met up with Aaron and Yukai at Hougang inerchange and boy , by than i was dead-tired and ready to go into hibernation. Went for a second round of lunch at our school's almost favourite after-school hang-out - The roti prata shop by the roadside. Not bad actually. The curry was a tad too spicy for me though. Was dying to look at dogs so i managed to persuade them to go to Serangoon circus' pet shop. Was completely bowled over by the Jack Russells in there... They totally melted my heart when i saw their enthusiatic yapping whenever i came close. It was almost they were saying "Come on ! Take me home ! I'm be a nice and obedient puppy , i promise !" But i guess that wholly a figment from my ever rich imagination. Took a peek at the rodents there too , and was appalled when i saw that they were being fed Pandan leaves. PANDAN LEAVES ! Imagine that ! They have negligible amounts of nutrients vital for rodents and the worse part is , those poor critters were kept in cages with poor ventilation and most were devoid of a running wheel !!! I can totally understand their feelings... to be condemned infinitely ( release comes only when they are brought ) in a stuffy hell-like dungeon .. to remain stagnant and bored unless u find pacing up and down enjoyable...to be devouring stuff that finds its way right into your bowels because there is not nutrients to be extracted in your stomach. Unless chlorophyll is considered a nutrient. I'm not going to take this lying down ! I must do something about it.

Went home after that and my stomach ache made an unwanted return. Was curled up on the couch channel surfing until i decided to switch on my computer.